


Just Asking For Some Privacy

by breeeliss



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crack, Four-Way Reveal, Gen, Gen Fic, Humor, Reveal, This is very silly try not to take it too seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 12:19:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10639722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breeeliss/pseuds/breeeliss
Summary: "No but she's right. What the heck could the four of us possibly have to do that's apparently so important that it needs to be done in private, in an abandoned locker room, and in the middle of an akuma attack?"The latter half of Adrien's sentence hung in between the four of them while they all stood in silence and narrowed their eyes at each other.Now that Adrien mentioned it...that was a little weird.





	

**Author's Note:**

> it's a gen fic. i know. just go with me here for a sec.

So here’s the thing. 

Finding the perfect hiding spots for transforming and detransforming was easily the most difficult part about being a superhero. Hands down. 

One minute you’re running into the girl’s bathroom on the fourth floor about to jump out the window and save the city, the next you’re hiding in the bathroom stall from a mob of older lycée girls touching up their makeup before their first period class, balancing precariously on a toilet, and getting frantic calls from your teammates about why you’re not there to help fight an akuma the  _ literal size _ of the Eiffel Tower. 

Then you have to show up to a fight and explain why your foot is drenched in toilet water all while maintaining the grace and dignity of Ladybug, a.k.a Team Leader, a.k.a. Should Probably Have Her Crap Together Better Than This. You’d think that after a year of being Ladybug this part of the job description would get easier, but apparently that’s just  _ too much to ask for _ . 

“You know it’s not as bad as you think,” Tikki whispered to Marinette as she walked to her next class. “At least you have a lot of free time in between classes and after school to get some privacy. Some Ladybug’s didn’t even have that.”

Marinette pouted. “I know you’re just trying to put things in perspective, but it’s still annoying. I had to transform underneath the reference desk in the library today. I cannot emphasize how  _ impossible _ that felt in the moment.”

Tikki shrugged and dipped back into Marinette’s bag when she spotted students passing them in the halls. “Might be worth trying to find a new official transformation spot now that you’re in a new school for lycée.”

Back when Marinette was still in  collège, her go-to transformation spot was the empty boy’s bathroom on the top floor that was unused and under construction for almost the entire year. No one ever went in there, there was plenty of space to transform, and construction workers were only ever there when students weren’t in their lessons. It was perfect, and whenever Marinette had to frantically say that she was “going to the bathroom,” it was never technically a lie. 

But lycée planted her in a new building with even more people, and she never really had a chance to find more prime transformation real estate. Marinette thought that finding one would sort of just happen organically, but it looked like she was going to have to tell her parents she was staying after school for “club activities” and  _ not _ scoping out the school for underused classrooms, abandoned bathrooms, and sketchy broom closets. Tedious and annoying, sure, but Tikki had a good point in suggesting a permanent safe zone within school. Most akuma attacks popped up while Marinette was in class, so that would be a huge weight off her shoulders. 

A couple of weeks later — after deciding to pack her lunch with her that day and munch on a sandwich while she explored corners of the school building she didn’t even know existed — Marinette managed to hit the jackpot in the form of a shower and locker room on the fourth floor that was barely ever used outside of PE classes. There wasn’t much in that same hallway apart from storage rooms for fitness equipment, and it was completely devoid of any rogue students. Which meant no awkward interruptions and no more having to hide in cramped bathroom stalls for the coast to be clear. 

It was perfect. 

So the next time her phone buzzed with a news alert about an akuma downtown, Marinette faked a stomach ache, snuck out of class, and headed straight for the locker room upstairs for a private place to transform. 

Of course, when she shoved her shoulder into the door and got ready to let Tikki out of her purse, she did not expect to see Chloe Bourgeois standing in the middle of the locker room, hunched over her purse, and whispering inside of it. 

“... _ Chloe?” _

Chloe screamed and spun around wildly, somehow managing to pull her nail file out of her purse and wield it threateningly at Marinette. But once she saw who interrupted her, she let out a sigh of relief and started glaring. “Holy  _ effing _ Christ, Marinette, you scared the crap out of me.”

“Is that a nail file? What were you going to do with that, attack me?”

Chloe blanched. “...... _ no! _ Don’t….d-don’t be ridiculous, that’d be overreacting.”

“What are you doing here?” Marinette frowned. 

Chloe straightened her back defensively. “What are  _ you _ doing here?”

“N-None of your business! And I asked first!”

“I was  _ here _ first! I get first dibs on answer.”

“That’s not how that works.”

“Yes it is!”

"Ugh, you're so freaking annoying," Marinette groaned into her hands. "Okay, look, I don't have time to explain this to you right now, but I really need to use this room to get some privacy. So if you could just go somewhere else that'd be a huge help."

Chloe scoffed. "And who said  _ I _ don't need this room for privacy too?"

"It's a locker room," Marinette scowled. "What could you possibly need to do in here?"

"Y-You know...." Chloe hesitated. "School....things. Like studying..."

"In a locker room..."

" _ Yes _ , in a locker room, does that  _ bother _ you Marinette?"

Marinette shrugged. "I mean, you're incredibly bizarre so I guess it makes sense you'd write papers sitting in the middle of a school shower."

"Oh shut the hell up, what are  _ you _ doing in here then, huh?" Chloe snapped. "Looking in the mirrors and practicing how to be annoying?"

Marinette felt her nose flaring from anger and tried to dial back the petty screaming she was about to unleash. "I....have to practice my class rep speech in here."

"Uh huh," Chloe said, arms crossed and looking totally unamused. "In a locker room. On the fourth floor. Away from everyone. Where  _ no one goes _ ."

"It's a better excuse than yours! Studying?  _ Really? _ "

Chloe stepped forward and jabbed a finger in the middle of Marinette's chest. "Listen here, you smart aleck little brat — "

But Chloe didn't have a chance to fall into her tirade before the locker room door burst open behind them and shocked both girls into spinning around and instinctively hiding both of their purses behind their backs. It took a second for Marinette to realize who the newcomer was, but she blinked incredulously at the sight of Adrien leaning his back against the door, panting like he was out of breath, and beginning to peek into his shirt pocket before he spotted the two girls standing in front of him. His eyes widened as he froze and zipped his jacket back up. "Woah, um...I guess it's a party in here?"

"Adrien, darling, what on Earth are you doing here?" Chloe sighed, pressing a finger to her temple.

"I mean, I didn't realize this was such a hot hang out spot," Adrien winced. "Sorta expected to get some alone time, if I'm being honest."

Marinette threw her hands up. "What is it with everyone coming here for alone time? Alone time  _ for what?" _

"Tall questions for someone who won't reveal that information herself."

"Chloe, I swear to God."

"I-I mean, just alone time!" Adrien defended lamely. "You know, sometimes you just need some privacy to do your thing."

"And what thing is that?" Chloe asked in amusement. 

Adrien turned his eyes up to the ceiling like he was searching the fluorescent lights for an answer. "The, uh....acoustics in here are really good?"

"Acoustics?" Marinette asked, raising a brow. "You sing?"

"...I guess now I do."

"Funny," Marinette smirked. "When you and I were having lunch the other day, you said that singing was your one true weakness and that you were terrible at it."

Chloe raised a hand. "Can confirm. We took voice lessons together when we were kids. Such a pretty face and such a not-so-pretty singing voice. Oh, no offense darling. Your strengths lie in other areas!"

Adrien lifted his chin. "I'm not that bad! And maybe I came in here to practice and get better! Self improvement and all that."

"Now? In the middle of class?"

Adrien puffed out his cheeks and hesitated with his answer before he pointed accusingly at both of them. "You two are skipping too!"

"Stop focusing on me!" Chloe demanded. "This has nothing to do with me."

Marinette chortled. "Oh,  _ that's _ a first..."

"Listen, Dupain-Cheng, I don't care about the stupid truce we made at the beginning of the year, I  _ will _ smack you and enjoy the sting it leaves in my hand afterwards."

"How mature of you, no wonder no one nominated you to be class rep this year."

" _ That's it!" _

"Okay! Girls!" Adrien shouted. "Normally I'd humor this, but I'm really short on time here so I kinda need the privacy. So if you two could just sneak out for literally sixty seconds that'd be awesome."

Marinette frowned. "I thought you were practicing your singing. Besides, I got here first, I need the privacy. Sorry Adrien."

"No,  _ I _ got here first, and  _ I _ need the privacy."

"Okay what could the three of us possibly need to do in private this early in the school year?" Adrien sighed in exasperation. "Look, I'm sorry, but I think that my reasons are a little bit more important right now, so I'm going to call dibs."

"Um, that's a presumptuous statement," Marinette complained. "I'm pretty sure I have the most pressing issue right now."

"That's laughable. Actually," Chloe scoffed. "I'm running on a time crunch here and I guarantee that the two of you couldn't even begin to comprehend how important this time is for me right now. If anyone should be leaving, it should be the two of you."

Adrien was about to open his mouth and protest, but someone from the other side pushed roughly into the door and shoved Adrien forward, who was still leaning against it. He backed away from it slowly and the three of let out a joint sigh of annoyance when they saw Alya hurry into the locker room with an annoyed huff and suspiciously eye the three other people standing in the room. 

"Oh what the hell, don't tell me Nino told you guys about this hiding spot."

"What? No," Chloe said. "I found this the other day. It's like the one spot in school that no one ever goes to."

"Wait, what the heck, I thought I was the only one who knew about this," Adrien said.

Alya snorted and patted him on the back. "Yeah, sorry, kiddo. I found this place like on the first day of school, so I call dibs. Need to steal this room from you guys for a couple of minutes so if you wouldn't mind shoving out, that'd be cool."

"Oh not you too!" Marinette interjected. "This is so stupid, why are we all here and why do we all need privacy at exactly the same time?"

Alya raised a brow. "Okay, excuse me for making assumptions, but I'm gonna go ahead and guess that whatever it is the three of you have to do is not as important as what I need to handle right now."

"You're a little late with that bit," Chloe glared. "Apparently we  _ all _ have ridiculously important things to take care of in this exact same room at the exact same time. Gee,  _ that _ doesn't sound suspicious!"

"Okay, you can tone down the sarcasm, you freakin' primadonna," Alya growled.

"No but she's right," Adrien complained. "I mean, what the heck could the four of us possibly have to do that's apparently  _ so _ important that it needs to be done in private, in an abandoned locker room, and in the middle of an akuma attack?"

The latter half of Adrien's sentence hung in between the four of them while they all stood in silence and narrowed their eyes at each other. Now that Adrien mentioned it...that was a little weird.  _ Marinette _ knew why she was here during an akuma attack and needed privacy, but that made sense considering her position and the fact that she literally needed to hurry up and transform to stop the akuma that was probably gearing up for a rampage pretty soon. It made no sense why the three of them would also need to do the same thing at the same time.

Unless....

The four of them started slowly backing away from each other.

"Um," Chloe muttered. "Are Ladybug, Chat, Bee, and Volpina on the scene yet?"

Alya carefully slipped her phone out of her pocket and clicked around for a live news feed that was streaming on the internet. She cleared her throat. "Doesn't look it," she said, refusing to make eye contact with the group. "Akuma's still downtown collecting an army of stray dogs."

"Huh," Adrien hummed. "Weird. They're usually there by now."

"Maybe something's holding them up," Marinette offered.

"Yeah," Chloe said, side-eyeing Marinette. "I wonder why..."

Marinette flinched under the scrutiny and leaned away from Chloe. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Nothing!" Chloe said innocently. "Just find it curious why  _ Ladybug _ of all people isn't out there fighting that akuma yet. It isn't like her to get tied up for this long..."

Marinette placed her hands on her hips. "I could say the same for Queen Bee. She's usually an eager little thing that shows up to fights first before anyone else."

"And how you would know that?"

"How would  _ you? _ "

"Okay, enough with the pissing contest, you're giving me a headache," Alya said with an eye roll. She started to throw her hair in a ponytail and began heading for the door. "Alright, I guess I'll just find a closet or something since you guys stole my hiding spot."

Adrien faked a cough into his hand. "Twenty euros Volpina shows up to the fight first."

Alya turned to Adrien and glared. "Excuse me?"

Adrien shrugged innocently. "Nothing! I didn't say anything..."

"Don't play that card with me, what are you insinuating?"

"I'm not insinuating anything," Adrien countered. "I just made a casual statement. You seem to be taking it oddly personally though. I wonder why that is?"

"Well let's talk about you, mister!" Alya replied. "Why don't  _ you _ go ahead and leave first?"

"I...don't need to leave first," Adrien defended. "I'm perfectly fine waiting until the room clears out."

"Why?" Alya smirked. "Because it might look suspicious if  _ Chat Noir _ showed up first?"

"Alright!!!" Marinette announced. "Enough of this. Pointing fingers is not at all productive. I already see where people's minds are going and that is  _ not _ a road we're going down. We're all going to leave at the exact same time, go our separate ways, and stop making such a big deal out of this."

Adrien drummed his fingers against his pursed lips. "That sounds like something a leader would say..."

"Oh  _ what _ does that even mean?" Marinette sighed. "I've been Class Rep for the past two years, sorry if I'm good at delegating."

"Yeah, I'm sure Ladybug's a Class Rep, too," Chloe mused. "Would make a heck of a lot of sense..."

"Are you accusing me of being Ladybug?"

"Are you admitting to it?"

"No!" Marinette gasped. "I thought we were accusing Alya of being Volpina!"

"Hey!" Alya countered. "That's not fair! It makes way more sense that Adrien is Chat Noir than me being Volpina. I mean, have you heard the kid's puns in class today?"

"That has nothing to do with anything!" Adrien insisted. "Plenty of people tell puns, that's such a ridiculous statement to make. Besides, are we ignoring the fact that Chloe practically announced to the whole room that she's Queen Bee?"

"Rude!" Chloe shrieked. "How do you possibly come up with such a ridiculous assumption?"

Alya shrugged. "I mean let's be real, who else is gonna dare show up to a fight in a black and yellow superhero suit sporting red eyeshadow like they got makeup advice off of some half-baked beauty guru's YouTube channel?"

"Shut up I was wearing red that day and had to roll with it, don't judge me for that, my makeup is literally perfect!"

Marinette pointed dramatically at Chloe. "HA! I knew it!"

Chloe stomped her foot petulantly on the ground. "Ugh, that's not fair! I'm not the only one who just incriminated themselves. This one basically just admitted to being Volpina."

"How so?" Alya demanded.

"I remember that day I was wearing that red eyeshadow," Chloe smirked. "It also happened to be the same day that Nino was sick and couldn't film for the Ladyblog, and none of the news outlets were able to get close up shots of everyone fighting because it was happening on top of the Notre Dame. How else would you know that Bee had on red eyeshadow if you weren't there at the fight?"

Alya froze for a moment and struggled to come up with an answer. She darted her eyes in between the three of them and growled in annoyance. "For  _ God's _ sake, I can't believe this is happening to me right now."

"Wait, no," Adrien interrupted. "There was that art student who caught them just after the fight and took pictures of them, saying they were going to throw them online and use them for a project. She could've seen that and noticed the eyeshadow without being at the fight."

Marinette sighed. "And how on Earth did you know that?"

Adrien's eyes widened as he reached up to cover his mouth with his hands. "U-Uh," he tried to recover. "I...follow obscure Tumblr blogs?"

"Hold on a second," Chloe said. "You mean to tell me that the three of us have been in the same class for years and this entire time we've been superheroes?"

" _ Three _ of us?" Adrien echoed. "Are we forgetting the other person in this room?"

All three of them turned their heads towards Marinette and stared at her expectantly. She scrambled around for an excuse or some way to justify why she was here, but realized that it was useless at this point in the game. She threw her hands up in the air and relented. "Alright, alright,  _ fine _ . We all figured it out anyway, it doesn't make sense hiding it anymore. I'm Ladybug. Okay?"

Adrien sighed and raised his hand guiltily. "Chat Noir."

Alya huffed. "Volpina."

Chloe turned her nose up. "An innocent civilian who is honestly shocked and appalled that — "

" _ Chloe!!" _

"Fine!" she shouted back. "I'm Queen Bee. There. We all broke superhero rule number one. Bang up job, everyone. Seriously. Round of applause."

"You outed yourself first!" Marinette countered. 

"Yeah sure, Negative Nancy. Let's just start placing the blame on everyone else."

"Okay," Adrien announced. "Everyone just...stop for a second. This is a huge amount of information to take in right now and we need to just stop and think for a minute okay?"

Marinette was about to say something before her phone buzzed again. It was another news alert proclaiming that the akuma attack was getting worse and that there was still no sign of any of the four heroes. She pressed the palm of her hand to her forehead. "We don't have time to talk about this right now," Marinette said seriously. "There's still an akuma out there and we've wasted enough time already. We're going to have to talk about this later."

"Are you serious?" Alya asked.

"Look," Marinette said. "Just act like normal in front of the civilians and pretend like nothing's wrong. We all have a job to do and can't waste any more time with this. When we get back, we are going to be having a  _ very long _ discussion about Identity Safety and how to comport ourselves now that we know about the four of us."

Adrien withered at the news. "Oh no. Not the Safety slideshow  _ again _ ."

"Marinette, that was torture the first time around," Chloe groaned. "It was two hours long."

"Clearly we need to go through it again," Marinette insisted. "We just mass revealed our identities to each other, who's to say we won't lose our cool and do it in front of a civilian?"

Adrien furrowed his brows. "You're the one who cheered in victory and said ' _ ha! I knew it!' _ when Chloe outed herself."

Marinette rolled her eyes and opened her purse, letting Tikki float out. "That's...a minor detail. Look. Akuma first. Safety talk later."

Everyone rolled their eyes at the news, but followed directions and transformed before escaping out the locker room window and heading down towards where the akuma was. Luckily, kicking out all civilians from public parks and turning them into dog parks for all of the strays in the city wasn’t too dangerous in comparison to some of the villains they’d had to face in the past. But it didn’t bode well to let akumas run around for so long without intervening in some way. Hopefully, this would be one of their quick clean ups and they could come back and spend the lunch break talking about whatever the heck nightmare just occurred in that locker room. After all that effort put in to make sure their identities were safe, a stupid locker room of all things wound up being their downfall. 

Well. At least sharing it wouldn’t be an issue anymore. 

Ugh. Tikki and Master Fu were going to lecture her head off about this later. That was going to be fun. 

"Oh my God!" Queen Bee announced mid-flight. "I've been cosplaying as Marinette this entire time!"

"Bee, shut the hell up," Volpina shouted. 


End file.
